I was not going to write a blog post today, but I realised that it really helps me relay my feelings and it would not be a true account if I did not report everything even the really crappy stuff.
The pain I was getting intensified, my whole stomach bloated out and felt really tight and I was finding it hard to take deep breaths, hubby wanted me to go to A and E but I convinced him to let me sleep on it and see how I was in the morning. I had such a bad nights sleep, I could not get comfortable , the pain was really bad . In the morning we decided to call the clinic, whilst I was dialling I got a call from the embryologist they advised that overnight all the embryos had made it however some had split into 2 cells, some 3 cells and some 4 cells. Ideally at 48 hours they should be a 4 cell division, she explained that there were two clear leaders and she would recommend doing a day 3 transfer (tomorrow) and due to the grade of the two strongest embryos she said we should have both transferred. A 3 day transfer is good however the preferred is a 5 day As you can imagine I was in shock and really disappointed, whilst she was on the phone I told her about my physical state and she said I should come down immediately.
We arrived at the ACU and Nurse L took us into a room , I told her how I was feeling and she took my blood pressure and temperature , they made me a cuppa and said to try relax a bit before sending me to get bloods done. They really are amazing there, you feel like you are in a private clinic and get treated like a person not a number. I could not stand upright so hubby had to carry me to get bloods done, we had to wait an hour before I was called to get my blood taken, hubby was very angry at the wait but he is always is, especially with NHS wait times. We went back to ACU and Dr D was waiting for us, she explained that she thinks I have the onset of a condition called OHSS short for Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome.
OHSS is a condition where ovaries over respond to the hormone injections used to stimulate the growth of the follicles that contain the eggs . Overstimulated ovaries enlarge and release chemicals into the bloodstream. Fluid from the blood vessels leaks into your abdomen and in severe cases into the space around the heart and lungs. OHSS can affect the kidneys, liver and lungs. There are different levels of OHSS, mild , moderate and severe, Dr D advised that with OHSS its like a rollercoaster you will feel awful then ok then awful again and if you have a pregnancy via IVF the OHSS will come back. Whilst she could not confirm I had OHSS she said my symptoms were in line with it and decided to scan me. The scan showed a small amount of fluid around my ovaries .
Dr D advised that they would need to see my bloods and also see how I go over night, she gave me an anti clotting injection and said I need to monitor my fluid intake and urine output. She was very matter of fact that if this is OHSS then I am going to feel even more shocking than I do and there is no way the transfer could go ahead so the option would be to freeze the good embryos and put them in at a later date however she would need to speak to the embryologist. She came back and saidthat unfortunately out of the strongest two one is barely freezable and the other is not suitable for freezing so we need to prepare ourselves that if this is OHSS then we could potentially lose all our embryos. Our glimmer of hope is that they get better overnight (please god) or that I don’t have OHSS. We went off to get my meds (2 hour wait!) and then went home, we were at the hospital over 5 hours and 3 of those were due to having to wait for bloods and the pharmacy! Don’t get hubby started on that!
I had a good cry when I got home, I felt and still dolike a failure, like I could of done more to get the embryos to better quality, I mean how can we go from 15 to 9 to maybe 0! I know its not over yet but even if I do not have the ohss and the two strongest ones survive and we have them put in we wont have any to freeze . I know you only need one to make it but I would of felt better to have a comfort blanket. Hubby has been amazing and said whatever happens we have each other. We got home and I started going through all the paperwork , I wanted to know if we come away with no embryos do we get another go on the NHS. The answer is no. So this could really be the most crucial few hours we will go through in this whole process so far.
Maybe this is our journey, maybe this is supposed to happen, at the momentI am not feeling to philosophical however someone send me the pic above today and it gave me food for thought.
Until tomorrow
Searching for a positive 