I woke up feeling lots better today, I managed to sleep through the night and the pain had gone. I was feeling really positive that the transfer would go ahead .
We arrived at the hospital early as I needed to get bloods done before hand and after yesterdays hour wait I wanted to ensure there was enough time before our ACU appointment. Luckily I only had to wait 30 minutes. We went to the ACU and the ladies said I looked lots better than yesterday. Dr Z scanned me and said that the fluid was still there and also my ovaries were measuring 7.9cm wide which she said is on the large side but anything over 8 would be classed as moderate OHSS. Dr Z said my bloods were all normal so another positive!
Dr Z went off to get Dr D and they both took us into a consulting room. Dr D explained that I definitely have mild OHSS this is backed up by the scan and based on my fluid input and output I have retained around half a litre of fluid in 24 hours which isn’t great. Dr D explained that the embryos had not changed since yesterday no better, no worse , she said we had a few options, we could go ahead with the transfer but there is a high chance that if the embryo’s implanted and I became pregnant I would most certainly get a second wave of the OHSS and become hospitalised for several weeks, the second option is that we freeze the only embryo that’s strong enough for the freeze process and there is a 90% chance of it surviving thaw , the third option is that we wait until Saturday and see if I improve however the embryos in their current state wouldn’t get better and we could possibly lose them. I immediately said to do the transfer, this road has taken us a bloody long time and a lot of heartache to get to this stage and I wanted to see it through to the end, I didnt care about my health I just want to be a mum ! Hubby was the opposite he doesn’t want to risk my health and wanted to do the freeze and if we lose the embaby on the thaw then it was not to be. Dr D was very blunt with me in regards to the moderate and severe OHSS, she said just because I feel ok today I will probably get worse and could be admitted into hospital in the next 5 days and she said if I do get pregnant and end up in hospital for weeks with a tap in my abdomen draining fluid, not being able to breath properly, not able to lay down flat and only eating two mouthfuls of food before feeling full would I regret having the transfer? I looked at hubby and could see the worry in his eyes and the realisation hit me, this is not just my journey, its my hubby’s , its our families, its our friends ,its even our two dogs journey and I dont think I could intentionally put them through seeing me in pain and in hospital let alone the car park charges !
If we had another one or two embryos that could of been frozen I would have been more comfortable with the decision but that’s the not hand we have been dealt so I informed Dr D to freeze the one embaby. I think she was relieved, she was not allowed to tell us what to do but she said she is glad that we decided on the freeze option. She ordered me to have lots of bed rest and 10 days off work. I would still need to call in everyday with my fluid input and output and weight and need bloods every two days and if things do change I will need to go in.
We left the hospital and I think we both felt a bit of relief amongst our sadness, the decision was really made for us with me having the OHSS and if this is the start of the end of our journey so be it, we have each other and that will never change. I have always said that my story was complete the day I married my husband and having a child would be an extra chapter , it doesn’t define us, it doesn’t complete us , yes it bloody hurts and yes we would love to be parents but right now we have each other, we have our two dogs, amazing friends and family and that one little fighter embaby in the freezer and at this moment in time that is all we need.
Thank you for sharing our journey, your messages of support have been amazing I will continue to blog until the OHSS has gone and then take a break until we decide to defrost.
Searching for a positive 